I can do this; I can blog today–I know I can.
You are busy–after all, this is December 1, and the Christmas season has begun. So you may not have time to read this, but I must write. Words, thoughts, sentences–ideas to share literally smother me these days.
Then why the vacant blog? I will not apologize for the lapse of words these past weeks. But I just might.
I think my first blog years ago had to do with enjoying the moments–no matter what happens. Look for little moments in the day to be cherished. Even in the pain, the heartache, the hurt . . .
Well, you know what? Some days just cannot be enjoyed easily –and I am learning that is OK, too. It is difficult to relish a single moment sometimes.
Tom and I had a lovely trip to the Northeast in October; much color was still visible, even though the peak had come and gone and so had all the tourists. I mean we even saw snow on Mount Washington and were unable to drive to the top–one of our “musts” on the trip. Every moment was fully appreciated.
How does one hike mountain paths, steep ones, walk up a slippery flume, get soaking wet standing in awe at Niagara Falls and come home and catch a falling suitcase on the big toe the very next day? I have tried to figure that one out for weeks now.
That’s not all—
Because of the type of break in the big toe which gives balance to walking, the Ortho doctor put me in a short boot preventing me from using it for that balance. OK. I can still enjoy the moments–after all, the only problem is that my shoes won’t match for a few weeks.
Listen to this. The day AFTER the right boot became part of my fashion, I tripped over a concrete guide in a parking lot–just not accustomed to my shoes not matching.
I broke my patella–my left kneecap–a hard, very hard fall, the doctor said after an MRI.
I tried, I really did–to continue enjoying the days. It didn’t matter that the knee brace was cumbersome, weighty and doesn’t exactly match my clothes. I can walk. And once I figured out how to get in the car and drive with it, I thought ,” I have this made; I can do this, too”.
After a few days of getting adjusted to a new way of walking, a new way of bending or not, I noticed extreme lack of focus and creativity. Guess it takes more energy to teach an old dog new ways . And that is my apology! 🙂
Thanksgiving was different this past week. Have you ever thanked God for a working knee? The journey for me has taken a short detour; I only hope it doesn’t lead into a rut of despair.
“With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” Ps 18:29
I cannot run towards anything, and I , for sure, cannot climb over a wall–but with God as my source of strength, I desire to walk close enough to hear his whispers.
I want the pain, the parenthesis– to mean something, to somehow bring honor to my Lord’s great heart. But I don’t know how to do that . . .
Not yet . . .
Oh, the soft words of Silent Night have just now filled my house for the first time –the season is here. I will cherish this moment–now.
a journey to now 
Oh, I’m so sorry about the injuries. But grateful you are still seeing grace in the moment. You still have that writer’s eye, Barb. And that also means you see with His.
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Thank you, dear Marti. How often I have thought of you and my need to write you. Thank you for letting me know when Cecil Murphey was near me–so very near. I was to be out of town, but if I knew then what I know now, I would have cancelled my trip and gone to Murfreesboro. I recently ordered his book, Unleash the Writer Within—oh, Marti, if I only had read that years ago–but it wasn’t written 🙂 His words have encouraged my heart, my ability, my desires—even if I never write another word, I know now that I could have been a writer. I think that means something to me now. I smile each time I see you on FB–
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Dearest Barb,
A single moment is a beginning, and the best place. You did well. And you will do better.
You describe your injuries mostly, but if I remember correctly, you also injured your hand. Therefore I thought it difficult for you to write. I may be busy, but I always try to read, just don’t get time to answer. So I thought to surprise you with a short note to let you know. I am aware.
I thought of you as I struggled through making my Thanksgiving dinner for my family. We ended up being 5, with two of them sick with colds, so I am trying very hard not to be affected. I am so blessed that I have not been sick since January. I pray that I can begin to count that time in years not just months.
My biggest problem now is my right hip, suddenly being affected with very sharp pains with certain turns of my body or climbing into the bus. X-rays tomorrow. When I was at my doctor’s last week, when he had written the requisition for the x-rays, I ended our discussion with the straight-faced statement, that when horses get lame, they are shot. Obviously, the man has not seen many westerns. It took him several seconds to get the joke. By now he should remember that I always joke when the pain is worst. We parted laughing and on good terms. He told me I could go to Holland if I was looking for help to do away with myself. I hurriedly reassured him that I only want help to live until I am a hundred, so he has to suffer my jokes for a long time yet.
After blood tests of all sorts, he still can’t find out why I sleep every time I sit down. Has your Naturopath an answer to that question?
Please keep your chin up and your eyes on the wild life outside your window, if they haven’t all gone South for the winter. I love hearing about the life in garden.
Now for two pieces of news. The first bitter-sweet. I have become a great grandmother, but by my grandson Steve whom we haven’t seen for the last 7-8 years. David and I hurt but we don’t talk about it. I have learned that it is not about my heartaches, it is about my grandson, his girlfriend, and the new baby, so I pray that God will bless and protect them and give them the wisdom to raise their new child together. A girl, born Oct. 11th. No name yet, last I heard.
The best news delivered this morning by granddaughter Cindy and Allan that she became engaged last evening after a romantic dinner in Tivoli gardens which is decorated for Christmas right now! She had told me a few months ago, that she wanted to marry him, and hoped he would ask. She presented Allan to us a little over a year ago, and we, David and I liked him at once. A hard working young man 31 to her soon 27. And he is down to earth, and smiles, and loves to eat. I pray that they will be very happy. We need some of that in this mixed up family. I told her could wait for the next great-grandchild until after she finishes school. Please God, work with me here.
God bless you with healing and patience. And Tom too. Patience with you that is. Make one line notes for your book. I am now the humble owner of a Dictaphone, so I might get ahead of you.
Lots of love and hugs to you both,
Nora
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Dearest Barb, thank you for sharing and for your honesty. I know that God wants us to be honest, He knows how we feel anyway. Reading your post reminded me of these words in Habakuk 3:19 ” The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as sure footed as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.” Wish I was there to share a cup of hot chocolate with you. Thank you for sharing your heart. xox
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Barb, I’m so sorry it has taken me this long to get to your blog because I always enjoy seeing you have written one, because I look forward to the encouragement and joy it brings to me. This has not been my year physically, I’ve gone from one thing to another all year. In years past, this has brought me to the understanding that God wanted me to slow down and perhaps say “no” to some things and some people. I like you, can’t be still, just think I must be doing something and don’t stop long enough to clearly see what God has for me. I’m sure this is not your case, but yes as you clearly stated, we must walk close enough to hear His whispers. For me, I’ve found myself needing to be thankful for the little things that I so often take for granted. God is so good to me, and yet, many times I find myself wrapped up in things or people of this world, and without a doubt missing out on the wonderful blessings God has for me. You bless me with each writing and I thank God for my friend who helps me see things much clearer and sends me near to the heart of God. Thanks for bringing honor and glory to the one we love the most. SLOW DOWN my friend and properly take care of that toe and knee and lean in close to hear His whispers.
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You are such a blessing, and I appreciate your words of wisdom. I do pray that the New Year will bring abundant healing in all areas for you.
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