I can do this; I can blog today–I know I can.
You are busy–after all, this is December 1, and the Christmas season has begun. So you may not have time to read this, but I must write. Words, thoughts, sentences–ideas to share literally smother me these days.
Then why the vacant blog? I will not apologize for the lapse of words these past weeks. But I just might.
I think my first blog years ago had to do with enjoying the moments–no matter what happens. Look for little moments in the day to be cherished. Even in the pain, the heartache, the hurt . . .
Well, you know what? Some days just cannot be enjoyed easily –and I am learning that is OK, too. It is difficult to relish a single moment sometimes.
Tom and I had a lovely trip to the Northeast in October; much color was still visible, even though the peak had come and gone and so had all the tourists. I mean we even saw snow on Mount Washington and were unable to drive to the top–one of our “musts” on the trip. Every moment was fully appreciated.
How does one hike mountain paths, steep ones, walk up a slippery flume, get soaking wet standing in awe at Niagara Falls and come home and catch a falling suitcase on the big toe the very next day? I have tried to figure that one out for weeks now.
That’s not all—
Because of the type of break in the big toe which gives balance to walking, the Ortho doctor put me in a short boot preventing me from using it for that balance. OK. I can still enjoy the moments–after all, the only problem is that my shoes won’t match for a few weeks.
Listen to this. The day AFTER the right boot became part of my fashion, I tripped over a concrete guide in a parking lot–just not accustomed to my shoes not matching.
I broke my patella–my left kneecap–a hard, very hard fall, the doctor said after an MRI.
I tried, I really did–to continue enjoying the days. It didn’t matter that the knee brace was cumbersome, weighty and doesn’t exactly match my clothes. I can walk. And once I figured out how to get in the car and drive with it, I thought ,” I have this made; I can do this, too”.
After a few days of getting adjusted to a new way of walking, a new way of bending or not, I noticed extreme lack of focus and creativity. Guess it takes more energy to teach an old dog new ways . And that is my apology! 🙂
Thanksgiving was different this past week. Have you ever thanked God for a working knee? The journey for me has taken a short detour; I only hope it doesn’t lead into a rut of despair.
“With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” Ps 18:29
I cannot run towards anything, and I , for sure, cannot climb over a wall–but with God as my source of strength, I desire to walk close enough to hear his whispers.
I want the pain, the parenthesis– to mean something, to somehow bring honor to my Lord’s great heart. But I don’t know how to do that . . .
Not yet . . .
Oh, the soft words of Silent Night have just now filled my house for the first time –the season is here. I will cherish this moment–now.