… at home…

Posted on January 27, 2022 by oct17

“Oh, Tom, we have a summer place, don’t we?” I squealed over the loud music. He grinned, and nodded.

We were cruising about 70 miles an hour this past Sunday on a country road, well, maybe  50 around the curves. Music just sounds better in the Corvette, and I was tiptoeing in a  world of younger memories.  Andy Williams began crooning as only Andy Williams can, A Summer Place; suddenly the realization struck me that Tom and I, indeed, live in a summer place. So interesting, perhaps for the first time… I heard every word and knew the truth of the song. (Please click past the skip ads and listen to this again…)

https://youtu.be/9SeDGvfR0HU

Curving around piles of snow, I imagined our summer place, and giggled.

Because our ‘summer place’, your ‘summer place’ is anywhere.  It is where we live, where we give and receive love:

There’s a summer place Where it may rain or storm , Yet I’m safe and warm For within that summer place Your arms reach out to me And my heart is free from all care. For it knows There are no gloomy skies When seen through the eyes Of those who are blessed with love And the sweet secret of A summer place Is that it’s anywhere When two people share All their hopes All their dreams All their love And the sweet secret of a summer place Is that it’s anywhere When two people share All their hopes All their dreams, all their love. (words by Mack Discant)

There are only six million summer beach homes and mountain cabin retreats in the United States these days, leaving millions of us without a perpetual place of peace and security… IF we only find it in a ‘summer place’.

Immediately my thoughts escaped to another place, my ‘anywhere’ refuge, my secret place. Each and every believer has found this place, the place we are always… at home.  We, who make a home with the Lord, live in the shelter of mercy and grace, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  Psalm 91:1Not only do I dwell in a physical summer place, my anywhere place, as Tom and I share “all our hopes, all our dreams, all our love”, I live in constant awareness of my  other secure refuge. True, this song is for lovers, but on another level, the truth shouts of our only Shelter. There is a place where we share our hopes and dreams with Him who loves us perfectly. Anyone can enjoy this anywhere place… at home alone, with a spouse or with  family.

For an instant, the dirty snow piles bundled closely together blackened the brightness and reminded me of sadness and heartaches… but the lyrics ring out “in rain or storms, I am safe and warm,’ so I am comforted to know … Lord, You have been our dwelling place throughout all generations, Psalm 90:l

Remain in Me, and I will remain in you, so quotes Jesus in John 15:4.

This idea of remaining intrigues me— I am to stay, dwell, abide… to make my home with the One who loves me most. The one who gave His life for me.  How much safer can I be?

… at home… ANYWHERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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… discovering…

Posted on January 11, 2022 by oct17

Did you hear of the woman in London who found a dazzling ring at a flea market for $13? She enjoyed it immensely, wearing it almost every day for 30 years thinking it was a fun piece of costume jewelry… a cubic  zirconia. Imagine her surprise and joy when she discovered it is a 26 carat antique white diamond!

Wouldn’t you love to make a discovery like this from a flea market or attic find? Oh, I wish!!

Perhaps there are more important discoveries to be made.

“There are no endings… only discoveries.”

Sam Peek (Hugh Cronyn) spoke these words to his teenage grandson after the death of his beloved wife, Cora (Jessica Tandy) in the film To Dance with the White Dog. Tom and I watched this last week, and I cried buckets.

I have to think about this… Sam had lost his beloved wife of 50 years, and he could say these words. Really?  Of course, this is a movie… or is there a truth to learn?

Surely there are endings… to summer, to winter, a school year. You receive a termination slip at work.  You read the last chapter in your book. You play a game, and win or lose… it’s over.  A marriage crumbles.  A life breathes its last.

Endings? … or a path to a discovery…

When I learn something for the first time, or ‘see’ a truth not known before, then I have made a discovery.  How deeply important this can be at an ‘ending’. Does each day have an ending or is it a chance for discovery?

“The Lord’s compassions, indeed, never fail; they are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.” Lamentations 3: 22,23

What calendar event, what physical or emotional heartbreak, what circumstance in life deemed as an ending is an opportunity for discovery. I would suggest all of them are. This phrase, “there are no endings, only discoveries”, has filtered through the channels of my thoughts for days.

Finally, I understand… because if there is no discovery, then there truly is an ending.

It is my responsibility to discover something I have never known or seen before. What discoveries are there to be found in the ‘ending’ of my expectations, my wishes; my hopes?   What do I learn about me, about life, about God? What is my purpose because of this happening?

Oh… I want to discover a diamond… I’m not sure I know how to succeed at mining for these jewels, but I so want to try, to discover what I’ve never known before.

“You will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me as a vital necessity… in this experience (italics my words) and find (discover) Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 Amplified Bible

The calendar year 2021, has been replaced by a new opportunity, 2022. Will you join me in seeking something new, in learning new words, ways and wisdom… discovering the diamonds in the Now.

“If you will receive my words and treasure up my commandments within you, making your ear attentive to skillful and godly wisdom and directing your heart and mind to understanding, applying all your powers to the quest for it. Yes, if you cry out for insight and raise your voice for understanding. If you seek wisdom as for silver and search for skillful and godly wisdom as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of our God. Proverbs 2:1-5 Amplified

… living in discovery…

 

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… holding on…

Posted on December 16, 2021 by oct17

“Go to your safe place and stay”… warns the TV or cell phone.  “Stay until the disaster is passed.”

Is there a safe place when more than 30 devastating winter tornadoes make a very long journey through six states, destroying whole blocks of family homes… wrecking entire towns filled with happy holiday shoppers… only minutes earlier? Where was a safe place for workers in a candle factory working overtime to make sure there is candlelight at Christmas?

Scenes of devastation shock us into a reality we want to avoid. The loss of life… the loss of communities, and I crumble.

Where was their safe place? Was there even time to find one?

Statistics report there are 40,000 normal thunderstorms every day… somewhere in the world. You experience those… with winds and rains. But it is the tornado that can cause major destruction. The U.S… has more tornadoes than the rest of the world… 1,200 occurring every year, resulting in multiple deaths. Compare that to New Zealand’s 20. Europe’s weather promotes lighter tornadoes, but they strike. We happen to live in Tennessee, one of three states where the most deadly tornadoes occur at night. Kentucky and Arkansas are the others— exactly where these recent night killers dropped down… in full force.

There is really no safe place… none… for most of us in our physical world. I guess some could find shelter in an underground bunker— but for most of us, we find the safest place in our home.

Perhaps you have cried with the family of the three little girls laughing in the bathtub… their safe place. Just minutes before the storm destroyed their home, the picture was taken and sent to their aunt. One of the little girls is now gone…

Tom and I discuss ‘our safe place’ should we hear the warning—but would it be enough? Would we have time to find an underground bunker? What does one do when there is no safe place? No place to go and nothing to hold to?

I wrote the following on December 5… five days before the tornadoes struck as I had been contemplating this blog on … holding on… since my blog of … letting go…  after the visit to the emergency room. There are things we must let go… always… but I want to hold on to Tom:

When I awoke this morning early with thoughts of holding on, such a heavy curtain of fog prevented any sign of life seen out the window. There was nothing tangible to hold to. I confess I fear what I cannot see.

As I sit here, observing the gray blanket in front of me… I realize there is so little to hold to—  I cannot hold money… much or little. I cannot hold possessions… all can vanish in a moment. Health is not assured. Youth slips as quickly as snowflakes dissolve. Relationships break down. Is there anything to hold to?  Changes erupt around every bush, causing one to wonder just what is real, what is worthy.

The same verse I used in … letting go… came immediately to mind.  “What is true, what is noble, what is pure, what is lovely, what is excellent or praise worthy… hold on to such things.” Philippians 4:8

My wise man said this week over breakfast as too many questions wrestled with my faith… There are no safe places in this physical world. Since there are none here, we are forced to determine if there is one anywhere. As believers, there is a reality for us—yes, there is a safe place. That safe place is one of hope—in the One who created us, an expression of faith, not one based on reason and logic.

Especially for seniors… as Tom and I are. We will experience the unsafe places, the parts of life that happen with aging, with life.  The storms will come; we cannot outrun them. We can only run to our safe place:… My soul finds rest, safety… in God alone. Psalm 62:1

Christmas shouts softly in this chaotic world…

Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of a great joy that will be for all people. Today in the city of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you.  Luke 2:10-12. I encourage you to read this verse again and again, making it personal … to you. This safe place is for you… I love that my translation says A great joy!-

our physical safest place…

“I long to dwell in Your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.” Psalm 61:4.

A friend from Vienna sent note after last blog: I sure hope you have not let Tom go… not yet.  These days he is taking life a bit easier. I think?  Cutting down a tree this morning, raked leaves yesterday. As he was diagnosed with Afib with a flutter (I don’t know what that means), He is to have an ablation on January 13, 2022.

… go to your safe place… and hold on… celebrating the Gift of safety each day of this season and yes… all year.

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… letting go…

Posted on November 22, 2021 by oct17

There was not a single negative memory swirling through my anxious head. Only sweet ones as I was aware of the monitor tracking Tom’s heartbeat.  An early morning house call of paramedics, extended hours in the ER and admittance to the cardiac floor, caused quiet reflection on the whole of life.

The day before on Wednesday, November 17, Tom and I had laughed and remembered  the events on that same day fifty nine years earlier… our first date. A life time ago. I had planned to post a blog that day celebrating memories, but our server was down. The next day, November 18, Tom’s heart flipped, and this time, it wasn’t for me.

Here I am four days later…

As I sat those hours, remembering… the good, I didn’t give a single minute to negative thoughts. It wasn’t that I could not think of anything bad—every marriage, every relationship must work through those as they come, but in a time of reflection, I remembered the good, the best of life.

Thanksgiving week is for remembering… remembering the beautiful stuff of life and forgetting most, if not, all our hurts. It is a time of ‘letting go’ and being thankful for the journey.

So what do we remember and what should we forget?

To remember, the brain must actively forget, so suggests a July 2018 article in Quanta Magazine:

“Without forgetting, we would have no memory at all,” said Oliver Hardt, who studies memory and forgetting at McGill University in Montreal. If we remembered everything, he said, we would be completely inefficient because our brains would always be swamped with superfluous memories. “I believe that the brain acts as a promiscuous encoding device,” he said, noting that at night many people can recall even the most mundane events of their day in detail, but then they forget them in the following days or weeks.

“Maybe the brain is designed to forget information,” Davis said. Somewhere in the brain, he noted, there may be some sort of judge that tells it to override the forgetting process when it comes across something worth remembering in the long run.

This article informs us that forgetting serves as some type of filter, dismissing what is not important and remembering the necessary. Scientists continue to discover how this filter works.

What an amazing confirmation of God’s creation. This truth is stated over 250 times in Scripture, admonishing us to remember our promises, to remember God’s ways and directions for life, to remember our commitments. To remember the good things.

And forgetting…

this must activity in our lives is expressed  in Isaiah 43: 18,19. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

Paul penned this same idea in Philippians 3: 13,14. “But one thing I do. Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on to win the prize…

Both of these references shout the truth of forgetting what hurts, what shames, what angers. And while true, there are tragic incidents in life requiring therapy and time; I understand completely as I walked the path of forgiving my father.  Granted, bad things happen and beg us to remember, to hold on to every detail.  The opposite is a ‘letting go’… a beautiful process.  Life is a journey of ‘letting go’ … simply releasing, surrendering, giving away the hurt.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” my friend responded immediately. I had called to ask forgiveness for my lack of checking some research I had promised to do. I smiled and thought, how wonderful to have friends who ‘don’t remember’.

Tom and I are blessed with the gift of forgetfulness. We choose to remember the good, the beautiful, the lovely moments and intentionally to ‘let go’ of those words and actions capable of damage. (Though sometimes it does take me a day or two!)This Thanksgiving is a time of immense gratitude, for you, my readers… I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy… Philippians 1:3,4

And thankfulness for every moment shared … Tom and I  tread softly into each day, never taking the moments for granted, loving each other well, thankful for learning how to ‘let go’ these many years…

A verse that encourages us in remembering: Finally, dear friends, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think on (and remember… my added words)  such things. Philippians 4:8

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… letting go…

Do you need a gift idea this Christmas?  How about… Whispers on the Journey, available on Amazon …  many of these pages reflect lessons of remembering and forgetting.  If you would like a signed copy (US only), email me…  barb.suiter@gmail.com

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… scattering jewels…

Posted on November 3, 2021 by oct17

Sometimes there are surprises in what we see.

These days my vision is often blurred, even with glasses, so until that is corrected, I will enjoy some mistakes in reading!

One morning when reading a passage in Hebrews, I declare I saw these words perfectly, “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make a jeweled path for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” 12:12,13.

I read the same words again, and laughed, “I have never seen this before. How have I missed such a beautiful thought?” Sunlight on rocks in our driveway glistened like jewels that moment, and I began pondering on ways to walk a jeweled path; I thought of how a path of jewels would encourage others on their journeys.View from my window…

I adjusted my glasses to focus better… oh no. The correct words, make a level path came into view. Oh yes, I know this verse, but how disappointed I was to realize I am not commanded to construct a path of jewels to enable others to step carefully.

Or am I?

Since then, I have imagined jewels everywhere… literally tripping over bright gems in the house, outside in the garden, down the driveway. The scene before me was beautiful… rubies, diamonds, sapphires scattered over the path. I stepped carefully and pondered how lovely to walk through life on a path of jewels.

Pearls, symbolizing integrity and loyalty, glow and shine alongside topaz gems, said to promote truthfulness and forgiveness. A few amethysts, believed by some to change anger to tranquility, dotted the path. Several shimmering blue sapphires, a royal stone denoting truth and sincerity, lay mingled with precious diamonds indicating faithfulness and strength. What a beautiful, jeweled path.

Can a level path be a jeweled path, as well? Is it possible they can be the same?

It is possible… “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5,6.

A level path… straight, free of stones, briers, litter…  anything that would cause someone to stumble… would be a fine path for another’s healing.

But how much more joy to build a path of precious jewels, rather than simply constructing a level path for easy walking? It is a choice. I want to litter my path with stones of kindness, acceptance, sweet words of wisdom and truth… jewels to drop along the way.

“Gold there is and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.” Proverbs 20: 15. Then there is this verse in Proverbs 25: “A word aptly spoken in due season … at the right time… is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” v11

This same verse, Hebrews 12: 12,13 in the Amplified, gives us a bit more direction: “Make firm, plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet…Yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction…”

Will you walk with me today? … casting jewels along the way…

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… today is forever…

Posted on October 20, 2021 by oct17

So. I had this moment…

The treadmill, gaining speed like the little train going nowhere, transported me to the recently located book shelves in the garage. In seconds, the years of Tom sitting for hours, thinking deeply as he studied his books, rushed over me. It was as if an entire lifetime scene opened before me, and I squealed in loud anguish, “But I wanted forever…”

Now, the shelves set, anchored by other shelves with more books, in an unused, unavailable place in the garage waiting for the renovation of a reading room. That morning, they were in the right place for a vision of forever…

It was one of those surreal moments… whispered words shouted above the walking machine, “Today is forever, Barb.”

Today is forever… tears came immediately as I realized this truth. I have this moment; I have today, and it is forever. (It seems I am learning this truth over and over, as evidenced by my blogs. I guess I am a slow learner, or a fast ager!)

I have lived this thought daily these last weeks. Googling this idea, I found one photography shop named… Today Forever Photography. Isn’t that awesome? But are pictures and photos really forever?  What happens in a flood or a fire?

It was William Saroyan who penned, “In the end, today is forever, yesterday is still today, and tomorrow is already today.” I have to think about this statement from My Heart’s in the Highlands of 1939, but perhaps Saroyan understood living in the moment of today.So long, I have relished in the moment of Now… the reason for this blog title years ago… A Journey  to Now… life found in the moments.  But these days I falter and fear more than I delight in the days. It is easier to moan about China’s hypersonic missile, circling the earth, than to joy in the singing of birds.

That morning‘s vision of Tom engrossed with his books was a sweet reminder that today is forever.  This moment I hold in my hand, this moment… is forever. We are not promised tomorrow, it is already today, so “I will rejoice and be glad in this day.” Psalm 118:24

A friend shared just two days ago of her neighbors’ tragic situation. Their son, his wife and two very young girls were in a car accident. The girls survived with no injuries; the mother was killed and the father has had to learn to walk again.  My friend’s neighbors are devastated as life is no longer the same; currently their son and the girls are living with them.  The moments before the accident are forever.

Each one of us is vulnerable to life happening… every day, and herein is the reason we live this moment… it is forever. Never should we live in worry and expectation of  the what if’s; we live in the current moment, celebrating it as forever.

… because it is.

Solomon is considered a wise man; he spent many words speaking of a meaningless life in the book of Ecclesiastes, defining it as a chasing after the wind when life is not centered on God. Three times he repeats this concept of being happy, doing good, eating and drinking, finding satisfaction in all its toil. This is a gift of God, he writes in chapters three, five and eight. Basically one finds joy in his work and life as he lives in the moment with God as his center. “He seldom reflects on the day of his life because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.”  Chapter 5:20

This happens as ‘today’ is lived in the knowledge of forever. Impossible, you say?  Try living with this thought, repeating it out loud any beautiful moment or perhaps, sad moment, of your day. Today is forever…

Truman Capote writes of an incident from his childhood  in A Christmas Memory… a day  with a friend flying kites and lying in the grass, and their happiness is amplified in  the moment: “’My, how foolish I  am!’  my friend cries, suddenly alert, like a woman remembering too late she has biscuits in the oven. ‘You know what I’ve always thought?’ she asks in a tone of discovery, and not smiling at me, but a point beyond. ‘I’ve always thought  a body would have to be sick and dying before they saw the Lord. And I imagined that when He came it would be like looking at the Baptist window: pretty as colored glass with the sun pouring through, such a shine you don’t know it’s getting dark. And it’s been a comfort to think of that shine taking away all the spooky feeling. But I’ll wager it never happens. I’ll wager at the very end a body realizes the Lord has already shown Himself. That things as they are’—her hand circles in a gesture that gathers clouds and kites and grass and Queenie pawing earth over her bone—‘just what they’ve always been, was seeing Him. As for me, I could leave the world with today in my eyes.’”

How content  to live every day prepared to leave this world with today in our eyes. Relationships would take on sweeter meanings; our eyes would ‘see’ differently; forgiveness would be easier; our words would be spoken more gently…

… today is forever, and this is a gift… today.

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… when God smiles…

Posted on October 6, 2021 by oct17

“God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

You may remember these words from Eric Liddell, the 1924 Olympic champion for the 400 meters in Paris, and the inspiration for the movie, Chariots of Fire.  He is best known and loved, not for his medal, but for his determination to share Jesus with the Chinese people until his early death at the age of 43. His life is an amazing story of full surrender to his Lord. (The Flying Scotsman, Running for a Higher Prize, For the Glory… books you may want to read.)

That makes God smile… using His gifts as perfectly as one can.

Trees stand like guards to their Creator, and flowers, even the tiniest wild violet, are markers on our journey of His goodness so suggests Abraham Joshua Heschel in Man’s Quest for God… but me and you? Do our lives speak of His presence? Am I a signpost of God’s goodness? Does anyone know who and why we are?

Tom and I frequented a Hungarian owned restaurant near our home in Vienna, Austria. I loved the atmosphere of lunch or dinner under the sprawling tree limbs. One day, a young waiter stopped at our table and suddenly asked, “Do you meditate?”  Can you imagine such a question? We invited him to sit, and I asked why he asked. He said, “There is something different in your eyes; you must meditate.”  We casually shared our hope(I think we should always be ready to share this in a casual fashion); he shared of his search to find ‘something’.

I think God smiled.

But these days…  it is as if we are hidden somehow… somewhere. No one sees our eyes, no one  knows our lives. We are not running fast… anywhere.

We have been renovating a small room previously used as storage for Tom’s books … making it into a more comfortable reading room… the room between the garage and the rest of the house. We’ve not been too fast in this project, either. So much of other life takes priority. Pictures, books, boxes are stacked in the garage until the room is finished.

It sounded so loud… the quiet ticking of the clock shattered my thoughts. Almost hidden, with picture frames leaning against it, I cried, “the clock is still ticking… after three months.” I had heard a soft ticking times before as I ran through the garage door, but now, as I put on my tennis shoes for walking, it shouted.

Earlier this morning, I had focused on questions… wondering if my life speaks any longer of God’s presence as the trees and flowers are visible pictures of God’s greatness and love. Tears came immediately at the clock’s declaration, “I am here, still doing what I am to do.”

It was one of those rare NOW moments when I was given an understanding, a mindfulness of God being here with me. As long as the battery is alive, is positive, that clock will continue to do what clocks do…

…even if no one sees it.

I am to do no less… even if I am hidden or home bound.

What do you do that makes God smile? A favorite verse lets me know one reason He smiles: “He chose me… actually picked me out for Himself in Christ before the foundation of the world, that I should be holy and set apart for Him… Ephesians 1:4 Amplified. I encourage you to read that verse out loud… just for you.

And watch God smile.

And this one, “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing…” Zephaniah 3:17

And He smiles…

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… enjoying Now…

Posted on September 20, 2021 by oct17

“I believe that only one person in a thousand knows the trick of really living in the present,” wrote novelist Storm Jameson. “Most of us spend fifty-nine minutes an hour living in the past—or in a future that we either long for or dread. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle—which is exactly what it is.”

For a woman who lived to be 95, and wrote a book every year from the 1920s until the 1960s, she clearly knew how to live each moment.

The above quote was written decades ago, and yet it is true for today. A young man I know recently completed therapy in a drug rehabilitation program; he shared what he had learned about living the moments. “I was challenged to live 85% in the Now,” he smiled. “You then can spend the other 15% living in the past or the future. That’s all you get there.”

So how does one live in the present…

I was much too stubborn to allow the memory of my father’s smoker’s breath and his thin fingers to steal joy from my teen years.  I had discovered the first Polly Anna book published in 1913, when I was about 12.  I knew about the ‘glad game’, an optimistic outlook for life; my attitude could determine what I did with bad experiences. Life was good and wonderful if I let go of painful memories. True, it was a process, but I began to accept the hurts… as a part of life.

I learned to listen to God’s  whispers and I enjoyed Him…

As a young mother, I looked for moments to teach my children God was everywhere.  Butterflies, birds, worms, rainbows, storms… all daily lessons of His love and presence. We walked in the rain, we hiked in the hills, we dusted woodwork…conversations were peppered with delights of God’s love.

Anyone can eat at a table in the dining room, I would tell them. We spent hours listening to the birds, watching clouds or the antics of chipmunks while on picnics. There were lessons under trees, under umbrellas, under shelters… there is no place we didn’t find God.

Monks call their rooms cells, from the Latin word cella which is related to coelum or heaven… the very place one enjoys God. (A Place Apart, M.Basil Pennington.)  Early on my journey to discover the love and acceptance I needed, I began this practice of enjoying the Lord’s presence anywhere and everywhere.

In a house full of children’s antics… good and bad…I had to find a sanctuary for my time alone, when possible. There were always interruptions when the children were young. Those earlier years I was content to make a sanctuary whenever and wherever. As they grew in years, and I grew in my desire to enjoy my Creator, it was easier to be focused and scheduled in the same spot. A chair in our bedroom became a sacred place.

(The above is a chapter in a book I am currently writing on the scares and scars of sexual abuse on the way to… sacred. )

How do we enjoy God in these chaotic, changing days of Now…

It is more difficult today… Polly Anna fails me often. I force myself to trust (can one do that :-)) Hurts and heartbreaks in the family and world events create a dilemma that challenge  even a Polly Anna. We have only One hope… my one panacea continues to be my morning beginning… listening .

Even today after 40 years, this chair, recovered twice now… is the place where I enjoy the Lord alone in the moments, hearing his whispers of affirmation, preparing my heart for this day… “Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” Ps 20:7

And this: “Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” Ps 5:1-3

Enjoying God now… while waiting…

And you… how do you enjoy God? Maybe you can share your special places and ways.

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… waiting…

Posted on September 2, 2021 by oct17

You’ve heard the statement… nothing in life is certain but death and taxes.  Let’s add another certain reality… waiting.  We all wait… for something.  Some wait longer, wait more patiently, more often. But we all are waiting.

I so wish I would write only of happy worlds, positive happenings… never imagining there are painful and tearful questions to ask.  If I did, you would think I was living in another place, another time, and you would be right. And I would be an irresponsible blogger.

I don’t have writer’s block these days. I wait… for the right words… for you, for me. I listen closely for that word.  Often it evades me in these dark, sad times.

Reading Psalms has always been part of my journey to Now.  Learning to listen to the cries and joys expressed by the psalmists was a beautiful gift. As I waited for life to begin… anew… during the months spent recovering from Lyme while in Europe and then from Q-fever in 2016. I waited… words from Psalms encouraged and soothed my troubled days.

David was running for his life, and he was waiting… in a cave. We can see his source of Hope as he waits, “I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster has passed.” Psalm 57:1b

Three hundred people were asked… what do you have to live for? They were not in a cave! Nine of ten responded: I am waiting … on a new job, a move to a new place, when I get well, when I finish my degree, a big trip I have planned… etc, etc, etc.  (Psychologist William Moulton Marston from a reprint dated in1963.)

And we are still waiting… for that elusive tomorrow.

There is another kind of waiting—in the minutes and hours of our days.  We use many words to express waiting; a hopeful anticipation, expect, look for, bide one’s time, pause… and more. What do we do while we wait?  I keep listening even in the dark times, in the storms to the Lord’s whispers: Whispers on the Journey by Barb Suiter (available on Amazon.)

According to Market Watch, February 2016, the average American will spend 43 days of his/her life on hold… literally on hold.  You know… waiting for someone on the other end of the phone to get back with you.  I am not sure if this statistic takes my breath or makes me angry. We wait in traffic; in Europe we waited for the tram, the train, the bus. We wait in the doctor’s office… we wait and we wait.

How do we wait for the next dose of dark news?  A friend recently said, “It’s as if a black curtain is hanging over the entire world… waiting to roll down over us.” Wow! How do we wait on this? Is there a way to wait in hope?

My thoughts shift these days from the world uncertainties blasted before us on the big screen to the uncertainties and questions arising locally from Hurricanes Fred, Henri and this week, it is Ida. And Covid… How are we to wait for the next storm?  Tom and I waited eighteen hours to hear from a daughter who lives in the path of Hurricane Ida.

What did I do when waiting to hear news of  her and a grandson as Ida made landfall?  Sadly, I did not wait joyfully… but I had hope. The two Hebrews words for wait are often translated hope, an expectant hope.  This would be much too long to go into a word study of qavah and yachal.  I do like the meaning ‘a hopeful anticipation’, a waiting with intention. To look forward in readiness.

Would you believe this was my whisper the morning after Ida’s entrance into Louisiana:  “I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. WAIT for the Lord; be strong and take heart and Wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13,14.  An army was after David, and he knew war against him was imminent, yet, he could affirm, “In the day of trouble, the Lord will keep me safe… will hide me… will set me high on a rock…v5.

You, O Lord, are our only Hope… as we wait…

Father, you are full of compassion, I commit and commend myself unto you, in whom I am, and live and know.  Be the Goal of my pilgrimage, and my Rest by the way. Let my soul take refuge from the crowding turmoil of worldly thoughts beneath the shadow of your wings; let my heart, this sea of restless waves, find peace in you, O God.                      St. Augustine in Little Book of Prayers

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… caring…

Posted on August 17, 2021 by oct17

Something’s wrong…

… a dark heaviness draped the morning’s sunlight. Breakfast on the patio turned sour quickly.  I could not get my mind… or was it my heart, around the pictures being shown on the phone screen before me.

Hundreds of young men running for their lives, clinging to plane wings… I watch with helplessness. I can’t see any young women. What can I do? What should I be doing? Surely there is something for me to do.  I must help…

But as most of us do… the scene changes. Life goes on, and we waltz through another day.

Or do we?

Today a part of the world hides in fear, “Now, night is coming, and we are worried. We have turned off the lights in our homes.” A former worker with the international community in Afghanistan shares. (Intelligencer, August 15, 2021).  One news source described the scene at the Kabul airport as one of desperation, sadness and panic.

And while millions were hiding, I spent hours trying to find the owner of an uninvited dog in our garage. Trudging from one veterinarian office to the next, asking if the picture on my phone had been reported as one missing seemed so trifling in this sad day.

As mundane, silly, even… as my day unfolded, I had a sense that I was doing something positive, something worthwhile… for a dog.

This dog, maybe a mixture of Rhodesian Ridgeback, Red Heeler or Australian Shepherd… a lovely canine, trained, and lovable, stole my heart in just hours of her arrival here. Was she dropped off by a former owner, now tired of her. Or has she run away and can’t find her way home? Is our home an oasis for strays… remember Walter, the homing pigeon… … found. a new home… Though we are not prepared to care for a dog,  we want to make sure she is cared for.

“Many residents of Kabul now wait at home in quiet dread. Whatever their variety of circumstances, everyone is trying to find a way to safety and deciding what to do next.” Intelligencer, August 15, 2021

Some may know the truth God is near them, with them. They may trust the words, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God, whose word I praise, in God, I trust. I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?” Psalm 56:3,4. I wonder if they have heard the words, “On my bed… in these dark, fearful nights… (italics mine), I remember You, I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:6,7,8.

But you know what? I doubt many know the promise of His love and care. And they are much afraid.

Yes, the plight of a stray dog pulls my emotions, and I yearn to ‘do something’.  But the dilemma of a people causes a crisis in spirit; my helplessness weighs heavily on an already broken heart.  It matters not their religion, nor their Covid status. What matters is their hearts are full of fear… for their lives, for their families. Fear for their tomorrows.

I went to sleep last evening remembering a young man who had fled from Afghanistan in 2004. Sleeping in the day hours, walking by moonlight, it took five months to reach safety  in Austria.  As one of my English students, he called me his second mama.

And I can do nothing today… but care for a stray dog.

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