… words matter…

Posted on November 22, 2024 by oct17

So, this past Sunday, November 17, was the anniversary of our first date.  We make a big deal of this very personal day. The details are etched forever in my mind.  It rained… we walked under an umbrella… me trying hard not to touch Tom. 

“Can you imagine all the things we didn’t know 62 years ago? The things we would experience?” I rubbed his shoulder as we were cruising down the Natchez Trace. (It’s slow-cruising at the 55 mph limit on this national parkway, even in a Corvette) He looked over and quietly declared, “The one thing I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” Surely he didn’t know then, did he?

“Yes, I did,” he smiled.

… words matter…

At a time when I teeter in a balance of being secure, positive, and hopeful, Tom’s words mattered in this moment.  I smiled and didn’t feel quite so ugly. A bulky black boot on one foot and a raised lift shoe on the other make for a loss of something!

Millions of words in over 7,168 languages are spoken daily. English boasts anywhere from a million to several million words, with roughly 170,000 in current use. The average person speaks between 20 and 30 thousand words. What an amazing resource we have to voice a hope; to encourage and support those around us. These past almost six months, Tom’s words have done that daily. I would have crumbled without them.

A relative new charity, Words Matter, is committed to help end verbal abuse of children. A quote on their site: Words matter. They stick. They last a lifetime. Their impact shapes who we are and who we become. Spoken words to children is of massive import, we would agree, but words weigh heavily with each of us.

… words matter…

Sometimes, more often these days, a profound, negative thought invades my PollyAnna nature, and I consider life without walking. Will I walk in the rain again? Or feel the crush of October’s  leaves underfoot?  One morning last week as I was floundering in pity and despair, the words of a song stirred my thoughts.

I’ll walk through the darkness if you want me to… words I didn’t want to hear at that moment. Especially since I’m not walking anywhere!

The life and music of Ginny Owens is such a testament of hearing God’s promises and love.  Her song, “I’ll walk through the darkness if you want me to” … tells of her surrender to the path before her.  She has been walking in literal darkness since early childhood. (Lyrics follow)

“We meet God in our suffering and either learn to trust Him or turn our hearts away from Him” says Owens. “As I cried out to God with fear and uncertainty, He gave me more of Himself. I didn’t need to have the answers anymore.”

Hopefully, I am trusting without the answer. The Lord’s word to me yesterday morning mattered. So much. “He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed” (Psalm 107:29). I’m not sure yet why those particular words mattered, but they did, and I wept.

And then can you imagine that same day’s morning teabag tag had another word! … Accept the challenge you are facing. It may be your greatest gift.

… words matter…

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

Timely cards and texts have been a lifeline these months. Supportive words from friends… those sharing out of their own hurting hearts have mattered the loudest. Their care and concern are precious; no advice… only support and reassurance. I am grateful for every encouraging word this Thanksgiving season.

Words are the most powerful thing in the universe… words are containers. They contain faith, or fear, and they produce after their kind. Charles Capps

This season of thankfulness is an opportunity to spread words of love… a gift to others; in turn, to ponder with thanks, the words gifted to you.

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25).

… speaking words that matter this Thanksgiving…

P.S. (mini lesson this morning) There was a struggling starling in our birdbath this morning. He sort of leaned on one of the anchor rocks, floundering for stability, I assume. He drank, and tried to bathe… other birds seemed to be waiting their turn. It was then I noticed he had only one leg. Soon, he flew as birds do… even with one leg. He could fly.

Lyrics to I’ll Walk Through the Darkness if You want me

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me, the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

‘Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise
You’re not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that’s not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I’d never go alone, yeah oh oh

So when the whole world turns against me
And I’m all by myself
And I can’t hear you answer, my cries for help
I’ll remember the suffering
Your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to, hmm yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Kyle David Matthews / Virginia Leigh Owens

If You Want Me To lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing

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… in the loss, we find…

Posted on October 17, 2024 by oct17

Can you imagine that we spend six and a half months of our life looking for things we have misplaced or lost? That translates individually to two and a half days per year. I can’t beleive we lose that much time searching for something that’s most likely not far away from us, can you?

According to an IKEA study, our keys, our phones, or the chargers for those are high on the lost list. Then there are the glasses and the pen we were just using? Ah… after searching for about 15 minutes, we find them.

While this is a loss in personal daily time, I am thinking of much more serious loss. Even as I type these words, I have no perception of real, current devastation caused by hurricanes Helene and Milton. Not only is there a loss of things and stuff, but a catastropic loss of lives and homes… loss that defies understanding and comprehension.

Will the affected thousands, find life again?

I can’t answer that, and perhaps, you can’t, either. It is too BIG, too much loss for me to find the answer. I only know that loss hurts, it impairs us, it wrecks our normacly. And often we want to give up. We have friends who lost their husbands very recently; some who have lost children. Loss I cannot imagine. I grieve with them and for them. I cry with them.

We all have loss, some kind of misfortune, some sort of heartbreak. I have looked, searched, turned over every leaf!… looking for a “find” in my loss.

In no way, does my pain and the loss of walking into an active lifestyle I so enjoy compare to the losses of deep destruction; nevertheless, it is a current and difficult loss.

As I was bemoaning the question that I should be learning something from my acccident and its effects on life, my editor encouraged me with these words, “Barb, you don’t always need to learn something. I’m sure you are living in the truth you already know.” And then he gave me this verse. “Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God” (Isaiah 50:10). I simply keep trusting in the God I have learned to trust all these years. Especially in the dark, when all of life is hard.

Brennan Manning, the author of Ruthless Trust and the Ragamuffin Gospel, believed so firmly that God loves each of us with “with a depth that escapes human comprehension.” I read the following a few days ago, and wept for the truth I had just been reminded of:

Several years ago, when a minister-friend of mine bottomed out, resigned his chuch, and abandoned his family, he fled to a logging camp in New England. One wintry afternoon as he sat shivering in his aluminum trailer, the portable electric heater suddenly quit and died. Cursing this latest evidence of a hostile universe, the minister shouted, “God, I hate you!” then sank to his knees weeping. There in the bright darkness of faith, he heard Christ say: “I know; it’s okay.” Then the shattered man heard Jesus weeping within him. The minister stood up and started home. (P 284, Reflections for Ragamuffins)

Manning goes on to say that the Lord is fine-tuned to the hates and loves, dsiappointments and delights, brokenness and togetherness, the fears, joys and sorrows of each of us. These reminded me of one of my favorite verses found in Psalm 103:13-14. “As a father has compassion on his childdren, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed; He remembers that we are dust.”

This thought affirmed two truths for me that morning… Jesus loves me, this I know…yes, we all know that, but as important as that is, is the fact… Jesus knows me, this I love.

During these five slow, quieter months of walking in the dark, I have found that as I hold tightly to the truth that He is here, in the Now, He is. I am more aware of being here in the NOW, accepting this loss with a greater Find.

One late afternoon last week I was hobbling (with the walker) to the mailbox, when all of a sudden I stopped. A fresh presence of the moment wrapped me as I looked at the cows chewing the grass in the field. A moment of Now. I heard the Lord’s whisper… yes, you are here today, and I am with you. Yesterday morning, I stopped to appreciate the moment as two large deer ran across the road in the picture below from my office window.

What makes Now? I found 15 words that mean Now. My blog began in 2012 is titled A Journey to Now… While I’ve been walking this journey many years, I’m still finding new Nows— everyday. Now collects all the pasts together and prepares for the tomorrows.

Today is my birthday. I had believed I would be running by now. Not so. But I continue to discover a greater gift, that this moment, wherever it is and how it is… whatever it brings is the present, if I embrace His presence in the Now.

IMG_20241017_070646992 (1)

Easy? Always? Never… my heart cries for people everywhere who cannot find joy and peace in the mud… in the hard moments of life. Slowly, slowly the sun will shine and sweet memories will be remembered.

“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you” 2 Thessalonians 3:18

Finding His presence in the present…

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… in the slow, in the quiet…

Posted on August 28, 2024 by oct17

I slipped into a parentheses ( )** three months ago today, May 29, completely changing the course of summer. I had not planned on this; I did not want this. What was/am I to do Now?

Now, a ( ) in writing is identified as an addition for clarification or an explanation of a sentence. It’s not always necessary for the story content, but it adds a better understanding for the reader.

A ( ) can also be a break in the routine of life, good, happy breaks; brief days of a planned surprise. It’s simply an interval between two happenings… the good ones we enjoy… the bad ones… well, we cry through. College would be a parentheses; it doesn’t last forever. Only four years! A slip on an icy winter’s day, and one’s story is changed from a happy shopping holiday to one of fretfulness and sadness. It’s a ( ), a pause in the anticipated days of the season.

If you read my last blog, (I know it’s been way too long for staying in touch), I’m not fine, but it’s ok… see here, you will know I have been in this ( ) for the summer, and it has not been a vacation. After a six week ( ) of non weight bearing, there was another ( ) within the first one. Surgery was necessary. Has it explained or clarified something for me?

We’ve all had breaks in the norm, these pauses that bring about changes, changes we didn’t want or plan. We all can or have slipped into a ( ) we thought would be short, but it lasted much longer. All analogies break down, yes, and we can call these short intervals a detour, a storm, even a road block. Some end, as hopefully, this one will for me, and I will walk soon. But in some events, the ( ) come, our hearts are broken, and we enter another season. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Tom and I have four male friends who slipped into a ( ) recently and were hospitalized… the parentheses closed around them. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Now their sweet wives have entered a most difficult season.

Do these breaks on the journey serve to give understanding to our lives? Or not? Do they explain something, give us a clearer message? I want to learn something while locked in this ( ).

At first it was difficult accepting being enclosed in these brackets. I tried. I couldn’t focus clearly on others, as I needed to focus on maneuvering through the confines of pain. I fought dependence on Tom. It would have been easier to dwell on the “what ifs” and “if onlys”, but finally, I managed to accept the Now moments. A quiet surrender of today prevailed. “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice, I will accept this situation and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

I understand what it means now to live one day at a time. Life was suddenly slow, too slow for me. I need to be fast. “This time is for you. Your time to rest. Your time to heal. And nothing’s more important than that… Because you’re important.” These words were on a card from a sweet young friend in Texas. I had to learn it was/is ok to be slow, to listen to the birds longer, to read more, to enjoy the last cup of coffee. “I will take refuge in the shadow of Your wings until the disaster, (until this parentheses) has passed” (Psalm 57: 1b).

One early morning, two hummingbirds collided near me and slammed into the storm window on the patio. Both played dead, until one soon flew away. The other one couldn’t move. As fast as I could travel on my scooter, I scooped him into the palm of my hand. No movement. I began to blow ever so gently into his tiny face. Eyelids opened. Slowly, slowly breaths, or whatever birds do, settled over his body. For a full ten minutes, I blew soft whispers over him. Several minutes later, when alert, he cocked the small head, hopped to the table and flew into his day. Minutes before the impact to the window, these tiny wings were flapping about 50 times a second! Immediately, his life slowed!

I’m like this lifeless humingbird, I thought. For these days, weeks and months, I am completely dependent on Tom, the scooter and walker. I can’t accomplish much on my own; I can’t fly. But God, in His mercy, whispered words of encouragement and assurance that morning. He has never forgotten me.”The Lord Himself goes before you, and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

It’s been so very quiet.

It is a good thing… I never had a pity party; I have not asked why this (I simply slipped on wet mud). And even though, there have been no shouts and promises of walking quickly, I sense complete gentleness and acceptance that all is well. I can feel a holy presence within the ( ) … often with tears. It is ok to cry… there is healing in tears. “You have kept count of all my tossing; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in Your book? This I know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, I shall not be afraid ” (Psalms 56:8-11).

For a PollyAnna who forever expected “something wonderful around the next corner”, I stopped expecting. Life is just slower, this living one day at a time… waiting to walk, waiting to do. Something. Anything. I cannot change this situation; I can’t undo the ( ) for now. A most encouraging word from my medical doctor when I portaled him that I was too sad … “Barb, it’s ok to feel this way.” Often we condemn ourselves for something we didn’t do and have no control over.

The following was a post I noticed this week on Facebook; how beautifully a young friend, Sarah Morgan LaDuke, expresses the truth of living in the parentheses and seasons of life:

As I look thru my life I see so many seasons. Seasons of challenges and growth. Seasons of joy and beauty. Seasons of mourning friends that simply walked away. Seasons of celebrating people that are consistent in love and support. Seasons of lonliness that were all consuming. Seasons of peace and contentment. Each time and season had a reason. Some of these seasons I wish had never happened, but God showed me consistent love even in the darkness.

Does life make sense, “no”. Why do people walk away whom are your friends? I could make up a philosophical answer, but I have no clue. All I know is that in my hurt, God was there. In my joy, God was there. He is the one consistent thing in it all.

You are always seen and loved!

We live in and out of parentheses, and often we are gifted with a happy ( ) within our current hard ( ). This summer we celebrated Tom’s 80th birthday; later, we had sweet guests from Switzerland and the Philippines. I can not imagine life without happy parentheses and even those with tears. Herein is life on the journey to Now.

***A parentheses is ( ) . A ( ) will be used in this blog instead of writing the word each time.

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… i’m not fine, but it’s ok…

Posted on June 24, 2024 by oct17

“We’re going through a bad patch right now.” I smile as I remember hearing our friend from Bristol, England, express these words over the miles of airwaves that separated us from them in Tennessee. He spoke softly, unashamedly… knowing there would be no judgement… only acceptance and love.

I also remember writing an update while serving in Vienna entitled… the good, the bad, and the beautiful. Our team leader at the time forwarded that update to the regional counselor, asking him to read it and ask, “Is there something wrong with Barb?” The counselor told me this a few months later when we were attending a meeting together… “There is nothing wrong with Barb…”

I had written that update after arriving home one snowy February night, leaving Tom in a Vienna hospital after going through five hours of surgery that morning. I was exhausted, he was in pain, not sure of the future. It was a cold, bleak train ride home— we were in a “bad patch”.

As I closed the window coverings at home that night, I noticed how the thick, deep snow had framed our small back yard into an exquisite work of art. Even through pain, disappointment and fear, the Beauty of the moment held me… “You’re mine, Tom is mine, and I am here.” I knew the Whisperer; I felt protected. And I wrote that update expressing the pain and the hope. (After all, I was keeping lists of whispers. See here . )

Bad patch is primarily a British idiom used for going through difficult, hard times; in America we might say we are having a tough time or we’re struggling.

It has been three months since I have posted a blog. Our bad patch has lengthened and widened since early April… increasing more in May and June. The distress wasn’t too rough as long as I could take care of the situation and serve Tom. Tom had double pneumonia in April, needing double times the injections and meds. But I managed to “be fine” during those days.

It was not until I had a major fall, resulting in a black and purple face, a concussion and had Covid at the same time, that I  began to wallow in the patch. Almost recovered from this first fall, I slipped a month ago in the wet garden and broke two bones in my ankle. Now I can do nothing for Tom. Or myself. Would I survive? 

“I can’t do this,” I cried as I momentarily passed out, fresh from the emergency room. “Yes, you can.” my strong man whispered in my ear, “Soldiers, 25 year old young men, come home with no legs. You can and will do this.” 

 A friend wrote a note and said, “I know you are learning new wisdom; I will be eager to hear.”

Initially, I could not; I had lost focus. Effects of the concussion caused emotional twists and turns. How could I learn anything? I accepted the fact that I would never write another word. I couldn’t even praise. I’ve always prided myself into believing I could dance in the rain, under any umbrella. But now all the umbrellas are broken, and I can’t even walk. Slowly, slowly I am learning to walk into this bad patch with great thankfulness… not for this disruption in life, but in spite of it, I choose to be thankful for the small delights and gifts. 

(Lavender and blueberries are June’s gifts. I am thankful for the friend who snipped the lavender while I bunched it, and for Tom who is picking the berries this year.)

IMG_20240617_114916964_HDR

Every human on my prayer journal pages is going through a bad patch, and I step carefully into their storms. I will never take others’ pain lightly again. I have known challenging times of Lyme disease and Q fever, but I could walk! I could still run and do for others. 

Not one spot in this bad patch could be changed. It is what it is, as Tom says. I can only change my attitude, my heart. I had to hear again… . Brennan Manning writes: Happiness and sadness may play havoc with our emotions, but once we learn that God dwells in darkness beneath the shifting surface of our souls, we know that that is where we must go to find Him. There we will pray in peace and silence…”A heart at peace gives life to the body…” (Proverbs 14:20)

We rise above our bad patches by lifting others, by caring, truly aware of their troubles. I read several stories of “bad patch” scenarios, and I wept. Pain, such as I have never known… yet. Our experience these three months has been humbling. “You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With Your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall” (Psalms 18:28-29).

I can’t walk these days, but soon. Then I will be able to climb a wall!  This post may be more personal than some, but this is life today. 

… it is ok… 

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… giving up… or focused…

Posted on April 25, 2024 by oct17

Have you ever wanted to give up… you know… to throw in the towel, and say, I quit? Many of us, at one time or another,  most likely can answer that question with a clear YES. I’m not talking about a major walking away of life; but about a day or two when dark clouds change the horizon. 

If any living being has reason to do just that this season, it is the bluebird community in our yard. They have been harassed, bullied, thrown out of their home… many times.

This spring has been exceptionally hard for one particular blue couple. Mockingbirds go after them like Kawasaki bombers; the notorious house sparrow and their number one enemy have stolen their nest box several times.  I have literally destroyed the tangled mess of sparrow architecture five times in this nesting box. (House sparrows are not a protected specie, and I can do this!) Finally, a neat nest was constructed by a hopeful couple, only to be harassed by the house wren, another problem enemy. Both the house sparrow and the house wren are known for piercing bluebird eggs and physically removing them from the nest. Just last week, a neighbor found broken shells of all four of her recently laid eggs at the  base of the feeder pole; the nest was empty. Can you imagine?

Or these predators will attack and kill the gentle blue birds and build a messy nest over the neat cup shaped home of the bluebird. Oh, the possibilities of torment are endless.

Would you be tempted to give up? I think I would…

As a monitor for bluebird boxes, I was especially overjoyed this week when I found a new nest and the first egg laid in our garden.  Now to wait and see if this couple will be able to complete this cycle of a new family. Often, much activity of bullying birds forces the bluebirds to abandon the home and leave.

But for today, they haven’t given up!

As I have watched the struggles of these beautiful winged creatures in my own yard, I have pondered on reasons for giving up. It appears to be a common malady among  humans.  One site I checked says 92% of us give up on our dreams, our plans; it’s often easier to walk away. Did you know that young Walt Disney was fired from his job… the reason given: “You lack imagination, and have no good ideas.” What if he had walked away? Mickey Mouse would have never been a part of our lives!!

Our strong will to survive health conditions, estranged relationships  financial issues… eventually can slip, and we lose focus. When busyness and activity, even good activity, muffles whispers of peace and hope, and we’re too sad, too tired, too… anything, and we almost give up.  

I am currently much involved, both emotionally and physically with a young international mother  (see my next blog… same kind of different as me ...). Perhaps, it is the hopelessness and despair I see in her journey that has threatened to detour me from a focused hope. My Polly Anna nature has failed me! 

“But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever… in Your name I will hope. for Your name is good (Psalm 52:8). I wondered why David, the writer of this psalm, affirmed he was like an olive tree. 

Olive trees are extremely tough.; they’re incredibly strong, producing fruit for hundreds of years.  They can handle almost any situation… drought, sub zero temperatures, frost, fire. Their roots are so strong they can regrow even when it seems like they’ve been totally decimated. Even when the tree has been destroyed, if the roots are intact, the olive tree clings to life and will rise above the soil once again.  (Olive Grove Oundle) 

David was harassed by fierce enemies; he often was in hiding for his life. And he did, in fact, lament the perils he found himself… many times (Psalm 69, especially), but ultimately, he would return to his hope in the living God. Even as the king of Israel, David was not immune to dark days, but he always returned to the knowledge that God was near. He desperately desired to stand strong as the olive tree. 

I, too, am not immune to shadows of the “what ifs” of a day. So I must… I have to listen… to the promises of God’s presence. ‘The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth” (Psalm 145:18). “Do not be afraid, for I am with you…” (Isaiah 43:5).

I just now took this picture; there has been a new egg each day for the last four days.  They have completed this part of their journey.  This pair of blue birds did not give up!!!
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… protected by kindness…

Posted on March 12, 2024 by oct17

“I believe you could talk to the wall,” someone laughingly said to me recently. Well, I thought she was laughing; maybe she was being unkind. I shared with her that I just had had a delightful chat with the new guard at the building entrance.

The next day I happened to read an article informing me that speaking to your house plants promotes healthy, strong growth. I wondered if they are in the same category as walls!

I admit I do talk to my plants, and often touch them as I walk past. Two Christmas poinsettias (one pictured below) continue to show off beautifully, and they’ve lived in this house for four months.

So I was not surprised when I researched a study done a few years ago by the Swedish IKEA company in relation to bullying:

Bully A Plant, a niche experiment conducted at a school in the United Arab Emirates leading up to Anti-Bullying Day on May 4, showed students how destructive negative comments can be. The DIY furniture giant set up two identical IKEA plants in the school, and for 30 days invited students to compliment one plant and bully the other. (Both plants received the same light, water, temperature etc. The only variable was in what they heard.)

The students’ comments were fed through speakers rigged into each enclosure. They were encouraged to record their words of praise, and to record their insults or send them via social media. A recording device then transmitted the messages to each plant.

The company admitted this wasn’t a real scientific experience, nevertheless, the results were phenomenal; one was healthy and thriving, and the other… completely drooped.

“It has helped children and their families understand the impact that words can have,” noted one IKEA CEO.

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend” (Proverbs 22:11).

Molecular biologists from Stanford University in California discovered five plant genes are activated when touched, supporting sturdier stock growth than in those plants left untouched.

“in a world where you can be anything, be kind.”  ― Clare Pooley

If our words and gentle touches sustain beauty and growth in living plants, how much more do humans response to loving acts of kindness in how we speak and what we do?

We need not touch a stranger to foster love, but we smile, we speak an affirming word, we pay it forward, we send a note, we let someone in front of us—so, so many tiny acts of kindness we can do daily.

There are many descriptive synonyms for the word kind… tender, soft, pleasant, sensitive, delicate, tactful, understanding, generous, tenderhearted, genial, courteous, thoughtful, considerate, caring, compassionate. Wow! How amazing if these words could describe our current world…

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

In Ephesians 4:32, we are admonished to “be kind, compassionate, tenderhearted to each other”… in the Greek, the word tenderhearted translates into “a love coming from deep inside us”.  When we are filled with this kind of love, kindness is natural… a continual act of… “be becoming kind.”

Jesus added, “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you, too, are to love one another… and the world will know, you are Mine” (John 13:34-35).  A kind and tender heart, caring and generous, lies in sweet fellowship with Jesus.

… especially at home… .

Tom and I were in a local shop three or four years ago, and someone asked if we were newly married!  We will celebrate 60 years of marriage this Thursday, March 14, so we laughed,” Why would you ask that?”

You are just so kind to each other was the reply.

Our children have gifted us with a three day get away anniversary trip this week. In their planning the event, they have collected emails, cards and notes from our friends around the world. I can not wait  to open them, and as we do, we will remember the beauty of each friendship and the relationship shared on our journey. Because you never forget a kindness!

Every thoughtful word, every act of kindness from ones we love and those who have loved us will forever be a part of who we are. And we are full with thankfulness.

… kindness lasts a long time…

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LOVE… living it… leaving it…

Posted on February 13, 2024 by oct17

“I want that when you’re gone,” our daughter laughed as she entered our home in  Vienna, Austria, on her first visit to see us. She was putting her name on a piece of antique furniture, a schrank (wardrobe) we say in German…

I hope she wants much more of “us” after we’ve gone than that!  Surely we will leave her and our other children more than a beautiful vintage piece. But just what will we leave behind?

Or, perhaps, is it best to ask… How am I living today?

We have lost seven friends or family members of friends in the last two weeks.  Tom and I attended a funeral of a dear 96- year old saint this past week. Martha did, indeed, leave behind a beautiful legacy of a life of love and smiles. “She set the bar high,” the minister noted as he shared moments of her years.

We are living our legacy everyday… now.

How do I want to be remembered? How about you? What will your world say at your memorial?

Legacy often implies something tangible left us by another. Fortunes, real estate. You know… treasures and stuff. Or maybe if we could only win the lottery… then we could leave behind a sizable legacy.

Not so, U.S.A. Today reports. “Nearly one-third of lottery winners eventually go bankrupt within three to five years, which is more likely than the average American, according to the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards.

If you are familiar with the book of Ecclesiastes, you know Solomon was a wise, but most unhappy man. He had everything, did everything, learned everything and still considered life to be meaningless. That word is used over 30 times in the 12 chapters of this book in the Bible.

“So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me” (Ecclesiastes 2:17,18).

Imagine his misery! I would not have wanted to be one of his 700 wives or one of 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:3).

Solomon, at times, does hint there are some positives in life…”Go eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. Always be clothed in white, and anoint your head with oil. Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days” Ecclesiastes 9:7,8,9).

You may think Solomon was the only one who felt unhappy and incomplete with all the wealth he accumulated. Another more current celebrity expresses the same thought:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”Jim Carrey,2005

 We ask, what’s the answer?

Most of us want our legacy to be more than monetary. One survey indicates over 90% of people believe a life well lived is how they want to be remembered.

… you leave tomorrow what you live today.

“This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you. No one has greater love, no one has shown stronger affection, than to lay down, give up, his own life for his friends” (John 15:12,13) Amplified Version.

I smile, remembering Mary Jane… she left a beautiful legacy of gentleness and softness. She lived an intentional life loving her Lord! Because of her love relationship with Him, she was able to leave an inheritance of love to those in her world. She believed, understood and lived the truth of John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life”.

The gifts she left behind are in such contrast to what my physical father left his family. see here. You leave behind what you live today.

Years ago when Tom and I were scheduled to lead our very first marriage conference, we called all four of our adult children to ask: What is the one thing you would say is something we have given you in our marriage? Without hesitation, all agreed to the same in their own words… “It’s how you show your love to one another… everyday.”

This Valentine’s Day, is a day we celebrate love. May we be conscious of living our legacy. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:14).

Legacy is not leaving something for people. It’s leaving something in people. —Peter Strople

 

 

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… loved… and liked…

Posted on January 18, 2024 by oct17

I love the times when Tom cups my face in his hands, his eyes shining, “I sure like you,” he says softly. Now, I know he loves me… there is no doubt; he has been loving me 60 plus years (our 60th anniversary is this March 14). But when he expresses his love with the word “like”… well, that’s just special.

There’s something about the word like, especially when someone has to love us!! Love means commitment and yes, those multiple words we use with romance. Despite our idiosyncrasies, our changeable moods and “bad hair” days, we are still loved by the one committed to love us.

But like… speaks a different language. It says I enjoy you; I take pleasure in you… I delight in you this moment (maybe not on a bad hair day!) You make my heart glad. Love, coupled with like, ensures a deep, confident relationship.

Brennan Manning shares the story of a friend visiting an uncle in Ireland to celebrate the uncle’s 80th birthday. The two of them were walking on the shore of Lake Killarney early morning on the special day. They stopped in silence, watching the sunrise for a full twenty minutes. The nephew noticed that his uncle was wearing an exceptional happy expression. When asked why he was smiling so big, the uncle replied, “The Father of Jesus is very fond of me.”  (Reflections for Ragamuffins, p4).

Manning writes: God must love us: it’s His very nature. He would not be God if He didn’t. But is He fond, very fond, of you… of me? The realization that our Father God likes us, that He takes pleasure in us, reveals the tenderness and acceptance He has for you and me.

“The Lord delights, takes pleasure… in those who fear Him (who stand in awe of Him), who put their hope in His unfailing love.” Psalm 147:11

I find often in Scripture  we are admonished to “delight in the Lord”… to  find joy in the Lord… This joy, this being liked, is reciprocal. What God likes about us is that we take joy in Him.

I see “wonderful” in every bush and flower; I literally choose to joy in my surroundings.  I dance in the starshine! I am aware of His pleasure.  He, in turn, delights in my delight!

“… for the Lord takes delight in His people… (Psalm 149:1-5)

One of my favorite verses… “The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty  to save. He will take great delight (not just delight, but great delight!) in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

Why?

Because He has chosen you and me. I love the Amplified version of this thought… He has actually picked you out for Himself  that you (and I) should be holy and blameless before Him” (Ephesians 1:4).

I could say it is somewhat hard, almost impossible, to delight in any part of  this day… I mean the weather is  terribly cold, impossible to go for a walk; the ground is frozen solid; the roads are covered with ice.  What can I delight in today in this gray, frigid Tennessee weather?                    But then…Knowing we are not only loved, but liked… believing this eternal God takes great delight in our pleasure of Him is life changing.

This is not a sunrise off the coast of Ireland, but it was my sunrise over snow yesterday. “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it”  (Psalm 118:24).

… being loved and liked…

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… in wonder…

Posted on December 16, 2023 by oct17

It’s such a rough, almost crude, dwelling in front of me… I stood on the soaked ground in awe. I can’t intelligently explain what happened, but for brief moments, all the Christmases past, present and future melded in praise.

Not wanting to return to reality, I stayed longer in the joy of the morning. Even in this sadness enveloping our whole world, I sensed the peace of the season; it was as if the love of the Father shouted words of eternal meaning. “The most precious moments of prayer consist in letting ourselves be loved by the Lord” says Brennan Manning. ** I stood that morning in the cold dawn, wrapped in love.A few days before receiving this morning’s gift, I had come across the words “radical amazement” used by Abraham Heschel. I have followed that line of thought these past days, and though, he and I share different faiths, I do understand what he meant by living in wonder of everyday.

I smile in the memories of Christmas past when our children were young. When our family was together, laughing, loving, playing. Now, in the pain of brokenness, I rejoice in truth, because the hope of Christmas has not changed.

An entry on a devotional page… when my world was still glorious and bright… I wrote on December 10,,2011… “Christmas is for Now; it is every day.” And it is, as we live in radical amazement.

Heschel writes… “our goal should be to get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible. Never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.” 

The same Hebrew word translated to be afraid used in the Old Testament Scripture  also means to stand in awe, to be filled with reverence. I think it is amazing the same word can mean “to stand in terror” or “to stand in awe”? Yes, there are times to fear the Lord as we stand in His holiness and greatness, but how beautiful, we can stand in wonder… even in those moments.

“Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!
(Psalm 33:8). ESV

What gift of wonder and amazement will I receive this Christmas… this week? Today?

This past Sunday we visited a church where Tom and I had served fifteen years in ministry before we left for international missions. A father wheeled his 43-year old son in and sat two rows in front of me. Tears ran down my cheeks as I have known Sean these many years but had not seen him in a long time. He was not expected to live past eleven years, as he was on oxygen and was tube fed when he was adopted at 21 months.

This beautiful couple lovingly, patiently gifted him with a life, (you should see him eat now!) and this Sunday, smiles covered his face as Christmas praise filled his heart. I was amazingly overjoyed!

Can you imagine you could be surprised and fascinated, be awestruck, be dazzled at least… once a day…

But the greatest wonder of today… by George Bev Shea, 1956.

There’s the wonder of sunset at evening,
The wonder as sunrise I see;
But the wonder of wonders that thrills my soul
Is the wonder that God loves me.

O, the wonder of it all!
The wonder of it all!
Just to think that God loves me.
O, the wonder of it all!
The wonder of it all!
Just to think that God loves me.

There’s the wonder of springtime and harvest,
The sky, the stars, the sun;
But the wonder of wonders that thrills my soul
Is the wonder that’s only begun.

It is difficult, perhaps impossible, to live in radical amazement as I look on the world’s scene, but today, personally, I worship in wonder at the news of the announcement, “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel… which means God with us (Matthew 1:23).

Manning affirms… “If Jesus is Lord of my life and my Christmas, I am challenged to  submit all the priorities of my personal and professional life to this primary fact.” He adds… If you really accept the mystery of Bethlehem… these glad tidings of great joy, your heart will be filled with the laughter of the Father”.**

And I stand in wonder.

** Reflections for Ragamuffins, 1997

 

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… seasoned…

Posted on November 13, 2023 by oct17

My yearly plea to Tom… “Please, please, leave the leaves on the ground as long as possible,” I beg every fall as they begin to pile up. And he does try, but that is as difficult for him to do as it is for me to see them carted away.

Walking barefoot in the leaves must be a hangover from childhood. Carefree times before the abuse. see here  Memories of colorful leaves crackling underfoot make me happy. There’s a quiet calm that settles me.  “Every leaf speaks bliss to me/ fluttering from the autumn tree.” Emily Bronte

Only a few months ago, every tree was dressed in green… then just as quickly, they were fashioned in bright colors. Today, they stand naked. I want to tip-toe into this season, accepting the changes, while fully living in the Now.

I want to…

I can see my Granny, with a long-ago look, staring out her window, watching trees undress right in front of her. “This time of year makes me sad,” she mourned, “It means winter is coming.”

“Oh Granny, winter is coming, but then spring comes,” my fourteen year wisdom advised. I had no idea then where she was in her season of life.

Today I understand.

While I’m tugging to embrace this season of fall a bit longer, walking in the leaves, holding sweet memories of my brothers’ last months, the hygienist in my dentist office this week had a beautiful Christmas scene on the massive screen right in front of me. “I hope you don’t mind Christmas music this early,” she smiled.

No, of course, I don’t mind. I love Christmas music; I love Christmas but please don’t rush me into a new season. I want to stay here for the Now.

Embrace the current season of your life… Gabrielle Blair

Weather seasons…come… they go, they change. Earth has seasons because our planet’s axis of rotation is tilted at an angle of 23.5 degrees relative to our orbital plane, that is, the plane of Earth’s orbit around the sun. (earth.sky.org) There are other factors, but this is the simple reason we have spring, summer, fall and winter.

Seasons of life… appointed times… come, they go, they change. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

My Pollyanna nature has always accepted change, even expecting the “something wonderful around the next corner. I have been content to settle into the seasons of life as they came: with babies, the teen years, the transition into an empty nest, medical issues, sadness in saying goodbyes all over the world…

… but this season is different.

My tilt is off…

Perhaps it is the loss of two younger brothers this summer; perhaps it is the toll of Tom’s constant back pain. Missing ministry as we loved. The world chaos affects me deeply.

Or maybe it is the realization winter is coming.

“Where is the verse that says ‘be ready in season and out of season to give a reason for the hope within you’?” I asked Tom as we were driving home a few days ago. He grinned and said, “I think you have two different verses going on in that pretty head of yours.” (But in your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have: I Peter 3:15 and Proclaim/share the Word, be prepared in season and out of season… 2 Timothy 4:2)

But do I have them mixed up? I think they fit together perfectly! Being ready to press on with a word of hope… no matter the season you find yourself.

Please don’t invite me into the next season… not yet. I want to tread slowly among these leaves of today’s memories…

“Be aware of what season you are in and give yourself the grace to be there.” — Kristen Dalton

We are all here… today…

… in a season. But I trust in You, O Lord; I say, You are my God. My seasons are in Your hands…(Psalm 31:14,15).

Yes, Christmas is coming! With its message of hope and peace to the world. How beautiful to enter this season!

 

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