… in me?

How long to Christmas?… our small children began to ask the day after Thanksgiving. When will Santa be here?  Yours most likely are asking the same question these days. Every two or three days, they ask. No amount of rationale or explanation helped. A calendar lesson would not help.  They only want Christmas to come quickly, and asking seems to speed the journey.  

Am I any different? Only this year I ask, is Christmas coming— in me? Pain, disappointment, heartbreak are a catalyst to ponder a new understanding of Christmas.

Christmas cards are mailed, a few goodies are baked, Christmas music fills the rooms, kindling visions of walks in the snow, sleigh rides… or, homes filled with love.

And yet, I ask… is it Christmas?

I remember a long ago Christmas I asked for a pair of shoes.  Shoes. Just shoes.  I was so excited. Christmas could not come quickly enough.  The requested shoes were not just any shoes; they must be exactly like the girls in the “in” group, even the cheerleaders in my eighth grade class, were wearing.

I had described to my parents in detail what kind of shoes they were to be.

Christmas morning they were not!

The shoes placed near my stocking were the ugliest shoes I had ever seen; they were not at all like the soft leather ones the popular girls wore. They looked like a large white and black box. Well, that’s what I remember to this day. The holiday was ruined for me that year.

I haven’t been able to get past big ugly shoes this Christmas season. Perhaps, because the surgeon has asked that I begin walking in Hoka tennis shoes.  Though fashionable, and an “in” shoe this season,  I can’t get past that they’re big… bulky.  And I don’t want to wear them. I guess I’m still heartbroken about shoes.

Can you remember a time when you didn’t receive what you wanted from Santa? Your heart was set on some beautiful gift, and it didn’t happen. What happened to Christmas?

Life circumstances and change often rob us of the childhood wonder of this magical season of joy. We are thrown a curve ball, or a catastrophe befalls our family.  And we ask… where is Christmas? What do we do with Christmas then?  We know the real meaning of the season, but we just can’t find it… now. Our focus is lost.

These past seven months have been different, difficult as my mobility was put on hold; could I find Christmas? Thoughts of Brennan Manning in Reflections for Ragamuffins  penetrate deep into my soul this season as I’ve pondered on the hope:

** If Jesus is Lord of my life and my Christmas, I am challenged to submit all the priorities of my personal and professional life to this primary fact. p338

 ** Christmas is a vision that enables the Christian to see beyond the tragic in his life. p339

** When we are in right relationship with Jesus, we are in the peace of Christ. This is a point of capital importance for those who would fully experience the grace of Christmas. p344

** Only the practice of faith can verify what we believe. When things are turbulent on the surface of your life, do you retain a quiet calm, firmly fixed in ultimate reality? Does your faith shape your Christmas this year? p347

** Manning asks on page 351… In gut level honesty, what rules our lives as we prepare for Christmas? (this one was time to ponder)

**Whatever is going on in my life, in your life… we ask, Is Jesus able?  Can my Savior, the Lord of my life, revive my drooping spirit and transform me at Christmas as he transformed the world through his birth in Bethlehem? p352

We celebrated Tom’s 80^th birthday this past June, a big party. It was a day to celebrate the beginning of his life. But I celebrate his life and his love every single day.  I cannot separate the day of his birth from who he is in life. Every moment… here and now with me. And it’s the same with Christmas. It’s the same with Jesus.

Of course, it’s Christmas. We are in Christmas!  Now!   “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel—which means, God is with us (Matthew 1:23)..

This will be a sign to you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths, lying in a manger” (Luke 2:12).

Of course, it’s Christmas with hope, with joy, with peace… now… everyday… because:

“The heavens declare the glory of God…” Psalm 19:1 “The Lord is my shepherd…” Psalm 23:1 “You have filled my heart with greater joy…” Psalm 4:7 “I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32 “You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence…” Psalm 16:11 “For You have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.” Psalm 71:5 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIm, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13