“There isn’t time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.” (Mark Twain)

I think the bird population in our yard has not learned this lesson… in fact, I see a strong resemblance to the human race! They fight over seeds and worms. Hummingbirds viciously attack  one of their own over the sweet nectar. And then the latest observation… a house sparrow couple literally stole my blue bird’s cozy apartment, and made it their own. I don’t like this at all!There’s only time for loving… and how quickly that passes. It’s like holding a bar of soap in your hands… and life slips as quietly, as quickly through pages of the calendar. Year after year.

If there’s only time for love, how does one do this?

A recent article confirmed what I’ve always believed about life. We have a moment, this NOW, to love and live. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the world’s longest studies of adult life (1938) confirms my belief in this secret of happiness.

Robert Waldinger, the current director (there have been four, as this began 85 years ago) of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says, “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care, too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

The result of this study brought a clear and surprising finding for many. Not only do good relationships make for happiness, they keep us healthy. They discovered that the more we are connected to another… to others, we are happier.

The study revealed that the happiest couples in their 50s were the healthiest in their 80s. The ones who worked diligently to protect their relationships managed the pain and heartache of the later decades much more confidently and in happiness than others who were in lonely places.

Brennan Manning writes, “Time has been given to us to cause love to grow, and the success of our lives will be measured by how delicately and sensitively we have loved.”

Today, June 14, I celebrate and honor Tom, my husband of almost 60 years (March 14 will be that milestone). It’s his birthday… the calendar turns to 79, that’s almost 80! “Many, O Lord, my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to You; were I to speak of them and tell of them, they would be too many to declare” (Psalm 40:5).

(always a favorite picture, seeing him read and study)

Tom’s life verse has been: “Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day, I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me till I declare your power to the next generation…”( Psalm 71: 17,18).

We were walking in a nearby park on Sunday, hand in hand, and Tom suddenly asked, “Can we walk together except we be agreed” (Amos 3:3). We have chosen the hard work of fiercely protecting the foundation and the structure of our marriage, living in gratefulness for the gift we are given. We decided a long time ago our relationship was the most important part of life.

Dr.Waldinger affirms this, “The surprising finding in our study is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships have a powerful influence on our health.”

Certainly, we are not without some health issues; Tom manages chronic pain from his back. Even in this area, the study  concludes that pain is magnified for those not in healthy relationships.

I write this in honor of our relationship, but the truths are the same for you in strong, happy relationships with your spouse… with others, whether friends or family members. Being connected socially has a positive effect on your happiness and health.

A journal entry a few years ago, written on a page in a book I was reading, adds to this thought: “Life is to be lived out in honoring God, loving Him, serving Him. This happens by honoring others, loving them and serving them. And it begins at home. It’s this simple.”

“No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us, and His love is made complete in us” (1 John 4:12).

It has been my life’s joy to love and serve others in ministry and

… Tom… at home.